Nullary Sources

Tenebrous Kate:

Have you ever watched a movie and been disappointed that no one throws a man in a bear suit into space? After watching Luigi Cozzi’s “Hercules,” I realized that I’ll forever be disappointed in movies that don’t include a man in a bear suit being thrown into space. It’s rare that a movie embodies the mercurial beauty of “So Bad It’s Good” cinema the way Cozzi’s “Hercules” does. Cozzi is a director whose career is studded with knock-off films: “Starcrash” is his “Star Wars,” “Contamination” is his “Alien,” and this movie is his “Clash of the Titans.” What sets Cozzi’s knock-offs apart is the fact that they are crammed to bursting with STUFF HAPPENING—you may be baffled by what’s on screen, but you are guaranteed to never, ever be bored. Cozzi’s muse is all hopped up on sugar cereal and sparkles with gloriously absurd ideas, every one of which the director is dedicated to capturing on film, always punctuated with an exclamation point.

“Hercules” starts off by disorienting its audience with a melange of repurposed alchemical mysticism, patchwork Greek mythology, and dicey astronomy that attempts to explain the creation of the universe. To sum up: the fire of chaos created four elements (day, night, air and matter) which in turn created Pandora’s Jar which exploded and then that created the planets—all of which is presided over by the space-deities Zeus, Athena and Hera. In order to fight the evils that have been unleashed by the breaking of the jar, the gods create Hercules and then proceed to fuck with him for pretty much no reason at all until he can prove he’s really a hero.

I just watched this with Colin, and I’m pleased to report that it really was every bit as terrible as I was hoping it would be.

And yes, someone throws a man in a bear suit into outer space.