GOP presidential candidates join Twitter debate
Hilarious piece by The Onion:
Six Republican presidential hopefuls traded tweets in the first presidential debate conducted through Twitter on Wednesday, outlining their agendas across the popular social media service.
In brief responses that buzzed across cyberspace, the GOP field challenged President Barack Obama’s approaches to the ongoing debate over the debt ceiling, job creation and the U.S. involvement in Libya. Republican candidates criticized Obama’s handling of the economy and efforts to reform health care, while using the medium to share links to introductory videos and websites.
“Obama failed. With ur help we can return the people’s voice to the WH, restore fiscal sanity & make Obama a 1 term president,” said Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, reflecting the clipped jargon commonly found on Twitter.
…
While televised debates can lead to longwinded answers, the Twitter forum places a premium on being terse. Asked whether a president can create jobs without expanding the role of the federal government, former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum tweeted: “The federal govt kills jobs!” Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson, responding to a question on whether the U.S. should have gone into Libya, tweeted: “Absolutely not” and then followed up: “Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya – Get out now!”
Addressing the economy, Georgia businessman Herman Cain told followers: “Government doesn’t create jobs. Businesses create jobs. Government needs to get out the way.”
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, R-Ga., offered a punchy economic plan: “Control spending. Put Americans back to work. Get back to a balanced budget as we did when I was Speaker.” Gingrich was one of several candidates to post a link to his introductory video and later invited followers with more questions to go to his Google+ Hangout on Wednesday evening.
No wait, I’m being told that this is was written by Ken Thomas for the Associated Press, and as such is a real piece by a real news agency covering a real thing that really happened.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY